Is it time to burn your bridges?

Have you ever had to make a decision that you KNOW will affect the rest of your life?

This week, I have had to make such a decision. After 3 and a half years of working for someone else, it became time for me to walk away.

The thing is I had to walk away because it was in part, forced upon me (possible threat of redundancy is never a nice thing for anyone), but also because whilst there were other opportunities that I could have taken on board, I had to decide whether or not I wanted to just exist and not give myself the chance to create the authentic life that I wanted, on my own terms. For me, this situation offered me the chance to walk into the next chapter of my life, the next phase of my existence, one step closer to my destiny.

Yes, it does sound corny and cliched but there is something liberating about knowing that you are in control of what happens next, one way or the other. All the time that I have worked, I have trying to build businesses in my spare time but always blamed life getting in the way of my true ambition.  I had to burn my bridges, or forever be wondering what if.

The feeling of security, whether you’re in a job or a particular situation can often be the thing that stops you from being your authentic self. When you have a certain level of comfortability, you become at ease with everything but you also become complacent and you actually become the one thing that you did not want to be – to be controlled by others. Don’t get me wrong, some people may like to be told what to do and when to do it and there are always a host of external factors to be considered ie family commitments, mortgage / bills to pay, economic climate meaning it is better to keep what you have etc. Life is for living not merely existing – you have the personal power to achieve whatever you want to, and it does mean facing the intense reality of life and being confident in the end vision that you have for yourself.

It is just as easy to allow our minds to create a false sense of security, even when we know we are unhappy. How many times have you heard, “As long as i keep getting my regular salary each month then ill be alright”  How about “Well, he loves me really, he just gets angry sometimes..” or “Better the devil you know!” etc, etc – adopting a victim mentality makes it easier to justify the actions you take and the reasoning behind those actions.

I understand the relevance of all those things, as I’m someone who definitely needs a sense of stability (that’s the taurean in me!) and my focus is always on taking care of my family first, but you have to be honest with yourself.

Ask yourself three key questions:

A) How do i want to grow? B) What do i truly need to do so? C) How can I use my skills and qualities to fuel this growth?

I asked myself these questions, time and time again.

I realised that my reliance on others, was actually limiting my own personal growth. I realised that all i truly need to succeed, is the love and support of family which i already have. As for the third question, I realised that only I can answer that question by facing the future with a sense of faith in myself and a purpose to empower others.

Burning your bridges, gives you the one true opportunity that we all have – to embrace the life that is already waiting for you. You don’t know what will happen, but you know what the alternative is.

 

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How Do You Release Your Potential?

We seem to live in a society, where we love new and shiny things – the attraction of the lights, the sparkles, the razzmatazz is so powerful, that it is easy to lose your mind!

But why is this? Is it the realisation that all things are possible?

People are often so blinded by the beauty of things that they shy away from really getting to the heart of understanding the journey that it took to get there – we live in a diverse world, of diverse cultures, knowledge and people. Life is never a bed of roses and it takes so much effort to achieve even the little things, but there is much to learn from appreciating the struggles of different people.

Don’t get me wrong. It is a great feeling when people appreciate your endeavours and your successes, pass positive compliments or go out of their way to help you!

In fact, it is those things that are so humbling and help you to truly appreciate a deeper love for humankind and the way in which, we as human beings, can really look after each other. It is the nice things that inspire you to do more for others, passing on a sense of spirit and care that we hope will be passed onto others and so on and so forth.

But how often have you taken the time to REALLY learn about someone else’s life and when it is COMPLETELY alien to yours? When was the last time you took the time out to, to learn about something that relates to someone else’s race, culture, upbringing, conditioning, religion, social status, life etc?

The reality is that many people do not wish to see what  happens behind the scenes, unless that person is of a certain standing in their field, or profession or in society.

It is a meagre few who would even walk the s*** with you, to truly understand what it takes to achieve the things that they revere you for. Maybe your struggle reinforces their own – it is as if your inadequacies, your shortcomings, the pitfalls that you encountered and all the wrong turns that you made, simply highlight where they went or are going wrong.

We are all creatures of habit, whether those habits are good or bad, right or wrong. We are influenced by thoughts, that become feelings, that become actions, that become results. Those results can create desire to gain more results, and therefore manifest into a habit, again good and bad, right or wrong. A genuine and heartfelt appreciation of someone else’s challenges, struggles, life experience gives that hardship a powerful positive meaning – learning from the journey of others, gives you an intense insight into the reality of life and all its wonders and blunders!

However, the real answer lies in appreciating your own struggles, and embracing the lessons that you learn from them. It is easy to dive into the world of personal development or read about the stories of other entrepreneurs or speak to an elder to gain the benefit of their wisdom – all those things and more are valid, but it really starts with you!

Learn to accept that you never actually fail, or you that  you can’t achieve or you can’t make things happen. It starts by you taking a step forward in faith, knowing that no matter what happens, you have the power to achieve whatever you wish to achieve regardless of what comes your way, because you are unique.

Here is a quick task:

– LIST YOUR PRO’s and CONS – be honest about what you are good at and what you need to improve on.

– CHOOSE THE TOP 3 OF EACH – Three things you want to enhance, three things you want to improve on

– PLACE AN ACTION NEXT TO EACH OF THE SIX, WITH A START DATE and A COMPLETION DATE FOR EACH

– TELL SOMEBODY ELSE TO REMIND YOU OF EACH DATE TO KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE

– START!!

It starts with you, using your own diversity to overcome adversity  regardless of whether you are black, white, pink, green, man, woman, cat, parrot, christian or a believer in the power of rocks – JUST DO YOU!

You have already come this far in overcoming your own struggles and hardships, and for that you should be proud!

If you are going through hardships now, look back at a time when you overcame, you mastered, you completed, you won and use that memory to move yourself forward – let others bask in the shine that you provide, for that gives them the passion they need, to do the same!

Till the next time,

J