Are You Keeping It Real?

Sitting here on the sofa on a sunday, is the most chilled and relaxed I’ve felt in a long time..i think I’ve spent a couple of hours now staring out onto the garden, watching squirrels and birds engaging in a dance of natural frolics and fun, my mind reflecting on my life journey so far – it’s amazing how life can take you in so many directions, with so many twists and turns and causes you to reflect on who you really are..

But what is the petrol that fuels your engines every day? What causes you to continue forward with a sense of purpose and focus, even when the dark fog of uncertainty flows across your path?

In my humble opinion, I think it boils down to you staying true to yourself regardless of the situation or environment that you find yourself in.

The power of authenticity is underestimated in today’s modern and capitalist society. People spend their real lives, living another life in a deluded sense of conformity and ‘toeing of the line’ – at work, you have to be seen to be one of the boys (or girls), on the street young people must have the latest kicks (trainers) garms (clothes) and their swagger (aura/image) must be turned up to the maximum, in business you have to fit the mould that has been constructed over years and years…the list goes on!

But why? Why can’t we all just take off our game faces and embrace the person that we were destined to be?

To be honest, I think we are all shit-scared about being ourselves. We all claim to be ‘keeping it real’, but i would question how much we truly are. I would guess that at a large majority of us are worried about what people may say, what our clients would think, how our friends would react, how are partners would act towards us if WE REALLY were ourselves, warts and all!

At least you know where you stand, when people are being truly honest and open – whether it negative or positive, there is a conversation to be had and a lesson to be learnt and that, my friends, is what life is about.

Being truly authentic shows that you are proud of who you are, what you do, how you think, how you dress etc. Being authentic means that you attract and connect with people more easily without the bullshit and bravado. Being authentic means that people take the time to understand you even more and value the time that you spend with them.

I’m not saying you have to shout “I’M ME” from the rooftops or burn your bras and boxers in a wild state of anarchy! I’m not saying that you must become egotistical, puffing our your chest like a peacock who just won Prat of the Year – i’m just saying, try to engage with others with a true sense of clear honesty, speaking from the heart, whether its in the boardroom or bedroom, in a bar or in the car, JUST DO YOU!

Some people will like you, some will hate you but either way you wont suffer the turmoil of not being you!

You can’t please everyone, so why try to?

Manners are the most popular forms of currency between people and they are completely free – spend them wisely using the bank account of you and watch the number of positive deposits rise in your life!

Till the next time,




One thought on “Are You Keeping It Real?

  1. Debs says:

    Hi Joel I love his blog piece. It’s an ethos I encourage all my clients to buy into. in this changing world and the current economic crisis and lack of trust that has spread across the nation it is vital we are authentic, true to ourselves and others. It’s takes courage to step into your own space and say look this is me and all I stand for, because as you rightly say we run the risk of someone not liking us! And our ego is damaged with the lack of approval. Being you and accepting you cannot be liked or please everyone takes time to master but once you do the deep sense of liberation you feel frees you up to live your life to its fullest potential. Letting go of the ego brings about a humility that only seeks to attract like minds people to you. My business coach taught me a great saying that I love ‘what’s anyone else thinks of you is actually non of your business it’s entirely theirs’ I teach my children that when people don’t like you, it says more about them than it does about you. Being yourself 100% of the time will reward you with a life full of love and this love removes many fears allowing us to embrace life and experience its beauty. Much love Debs x

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